The tape begins with a warning about how its evil to make
bootleg copies and sell it. However, this is XPW so why the hell
would ANYONE in their right mind bootleg or buy this to begin
Speaking of which, why did I buy it? This is XPW's first comerical home video. We open to a video package where we're told in the next 90 minutes we'll take a history lession of the California indy. And it dawns on me, this tape was made in 2000. So at most this crap company has a one year history even if that. Oh well, some of the spots in the opening video look cool. But then again, that doesn't take much and it's pretty bad when the coolest part of the tape is in the opening highlight package. By the way, XPW's slogan is "This Anit your Daddy's wrestling!". Yeah, this stuff is crap.
Your Lovely host is Kris Kloss.
Kloss welcomes us to the debut show and tells us we won't see 30minutes of wrestling or old has beens or cameras going likecrazy. Also, we'll see extreme women from the adult entertainment industry and hardcore wrestling. Kloss tries to tell us they care about the under privileged and less fortunate. Also he puts over the mentally ill also, what a great promotion.
Video Package of Homeless Jimmy:
Call me sick, but I marked out for this like crazy. Its a freaken homeless guy holding a sign saying "We'll wrestle for food." Classic if you ask me, yet offensive. Jimmy tries to wash some guys car windows for money and guess what happens. He's told get the "BLEEP" out of here. Yes, XPW is so extreme they censor their own videos. Same happens when he goes and tries to eat some dog food. His favorite things are his shoping cart and favorite brown bag drink apparently. I'm confused like crazy after this stuff.
Video Package of Supreme:
This shit is exactly that shit. Supreme is this fat guy who's sitting around with a butcher knife and half a pig head. Explain to me what this has to do with pro wrestling please? He puts some type of liver on his head and makes fun of Big Dick Dudley (RIP) saying he's big dickless. Then starts making fun of other wrestlers while stabbing the pig head, and other various pieces of bloody meat are shown. What a freaken weird and stupid segment.
Jimmy "The Homeless Guy" vs. Supreme
Kloss must be the most talented man in professional wrestling history. He's doing both ring annoucing and comentary at the same time. Isn't that crazy? Supreme makes his way to the ring to "Living Dead Girl" by Rob Zombie. For a homeless guy, Jimmy sure does get nice lighting. Jimmy brings a grocery cart filled with weapons like boxes and cables. Supreme looks worried. Jimmy spits his liquour into the ref's eyes. Supreme takes him down with a shoulder block and then a clothesline. Jimmy nails a kick to the midsection then a rocker dropper. Jimmy hits an arm wringer then an arm drag. Jimmy goes and nails a missle dropkick. Both men go to the outside of the ring. Supreme nails a clothesline. Jimmy throws Supreme over the gaurdrail. Jimmy grabs the box filled with chains and his Supreme with it. Jimmy goes on the ring appron, and attempts an Asasi moonsault but like...completely misses but Supreme sells like a trooper. The lighting of the place is horrible it's like a bar. Whoa shit Jimmy tosses the entire shopping cart at Supreme. Jimmy decks Supreme's noggin with a frying pan. Supreme wraps his fist with the cable, only to get nailed with a springboard senton off the shoping cart by Jimmy. Supreme nails Jimmy with the first aid kit, and then tosses him into the gaurdrail. He tosses Jimmy back into the ring. Supreme nails a stiff powerbomb. Well at least that was nice. They don't last long in the ring either, Supreme throws him back over the top. Supreme throws Jimmy into the steal XPW sign which is draped in barbwire. This is where I'm going to mention that their intro lighting is better then the lighting in the entire arena. That's a sad fact of XPW. Supreme sets up a table, put's Jimmy on it goes up to the top and hits the "Toad Splash" for the victory. Wow, that was.....uhm....yeah. 1/2* only because the brawling wasn't totaly awful.
Kloss introduces us the story of Chronic and the West Side NGZ.
Video Package of Chronic:
Apparently, you can't get more "thugged" then this. Chronic lived a troubled life and is shown at the grave of one of his homies crying.. Ya heard? He says We don't know bleep about the ghetto and how most of us will stay the bleep out of the ghetto. Damn, XPW is really hardcore. Also, explain how someone should get vengence for his friends death by joining a shit indy promotion? That's what I don't get about this gimmick. Did Rob Black bump off his friend or something? Ending of this part shows him pouring his liquour on the grave. What the hell....?
Chronic is shown in a bunch of matches, nothing really spectacular happens. Kloss tries putting him over as this bad gangster street thug, and I just yawn. He's no New Jack damn it. Best part of this video package however is when Kloss attempts to say the name of the stable it goes "West Side Ni__bleep". They freaken censor THAT even. What a great promotion. This video package takes way too long and makes it look like XPW has held a bunch of shows before the taping of this video. Rule number one to XPW, if your going to make a LONG highlight video pic some good clips so it doesn't look like it takes forever. West Siderz issue an open challenge and get answered by.....The Pittbulls. All of the 20 people in the crowd pop, and I....chuckle. What the hell after that it says "....To be continue." I bet one of the teams left XPW and they couldn't explain what happend. But what do I know?
Video Package of "White Trash" Johnny Webb
He's shown working on a car and says he needs fried chicken. This once again has me laugh a little bit, and then he says nothing wrong about being white trash as long as you have some pride in who you are. He says he needs to make more money, so he'll go over to XPW. Johnny Webb says he's about one thing "Fried Chicken and ass kickin". now THAT's a great slogan if you ask me. He's talking about how he wants the big ole gold belt and hopes its real gold too. Funny stuff.
Highlights of Johnny Webb vs Phenomenal Phil. Overall some fun stuff, but clip jobs do make things bettter sometimes.
Kloss is shown with a horrible Raven impersonation. I'm not going to speak of this ever again.
"White Trash" Johnny Webb vs. Dynamite "D"
Dynamite "D" is basicaly a rip off of Steve Corino. Trying to be all old school and heel-ish to the hardcore loving idiots. D is opening the match with a promo. But the problem with this is, his mic skills must of sucked so much, that they had to do a voice over. Webb comes out and cuts a promo about giving D a Wellfare Check and introduces his new manager Miss Hyate. My god, I remember when she was good looking but now? Guh.So they once again, dub over D's voice. Missy then nails D with a singapore cane after he insults her. Webb stomps on D. Webb tosses D out of the ring onto the floor. D gets back in and hits a roll up for a two. Webb hits a headlock into a take down. D hits a head scissors. A boring chant starts, and I'm confused. Webb starts stomping on D. Body slam by Webb on to D. Webb whips him into the rope and hits apparently what was called a "double" clothesline. D whips Webb into the corner and hits the mounted 10 punches. D nails a hammer lock, but is counterd into a small package. Webb only gets 2. D nails a sleeper hold. Missy gets a trash can filled with crap. She gives Webb a frying pan and he nails D with it. Webb throws in all of his weapons into the ring. Webb once again hits D with the frying pan then nails him with an old record as well. Knee lift by Webb. D goes after Webb a broom and nails the back of Webb with it. D connects to Webb's head with a shoe horn. Webb continues the assault however with a trash can, goes outside and then grabs a chair. D gets beat down with a chair. D goes after Webb with a cheese grader, but Webb bails into the crowd. Both men brawl in the back, but we have no idea where they go because there's no titan tron or anything. Oh look, they're in the cheap seats. The crowd wants Missy to show her tits. D's head is all bloody due to the cheese grader. Both men are back into the ring. Webb hits the Michinoku Driver. Missy gives Webb the cain and he starts beating the hell out of D. Webb covers him for the win. Uhm, this was kinda entertaining but once again wrestling wise it sucked. * And that's being nice anyway, I'm easy to entertain I guess.
Video Package Of "The Real Deal" Damien Steele
I love this video package. Steele is apparently rich. He cuts a damn amusing promo about eating lobster and the restaurant not having any. If your wondernig what Steele looks like, picture Test with his long hair. This videos pretty damn boring like the rest of the ones on this tape, however the lobster line is histerical. Steele shops at Verace and picks out a suit, in this package that last way too long. We also get to see him work out. And in a very amusing prick heel like he goes upto a workout machine and this guy goes "Excuse me sir, I was on there." and he replies "Well pal, last night I was on your girlfriend." Back to the restaurant, Steele acts like a prick to the waiter.
Crowning of Miss Xtreme in XPW.
Christy Mist apparently wins it, and accepts Damien Steele's frienship. AAHHH Jasmine St. Claire is there on the video feed, she annouces a surprise and its "Big" Dick Dudley. Wow, what a surprise. Steele sends his body gaurd, who then gets a chokeslam from Big Dick.
Clips of Big Dick vs Steele
Big Dick takes on the entire roster and squashes them with the chokeslam. All five wrestlers die. Nothing other then that......
Clips of Kid Khoas vs Steele
More non sense from their shitty feud happens as Dudley comes out for Steele.
Steele annouces his newest stable member is Nicole Bass and I puke. The cage is constructed and has barbwire on the top.
Steele Cage Match
Damien Steele vs "Big" Dick Dud***
Intresting note, on the box cover....the ley is crossed out in his name. I bet that can describe the rating of this match. Before the match, Dick is searching for Jasmine. Apparently, he didn't get the script and find out she's joining Steele after the cage match. Opps? Did I spoil the show for you? Amusing and very annoying at the same time, Kloss keeps saying "soley" but never uses the word correctly during this entire match. Actually, I'm not going to bother reviewing this match, just trust me it's really bad. Match was horrible anyway. DUD just without the ley.
Kloss runs down everything we've possibly seen on this show, and says to check out Baptisted in Blood. I think......I might get it because well I'm an idiot.
Final Review: You'd figure for XPW's first home video, they could at least make a decent effort. This tape was horrible and by any normal person shouldn't be purchased unless you want to fry some brain cells. XPW is bad. However, I'll more then likely continue buying some of the stuff just to review it and make fun of it since its cheap.