Your Lovely host are Kris Kloss and Larry Rivera.
Opening: Lets get one thing stated before hand. I'm not anti-XPW. Larry welcomes us and says there won't be any "violent" crap and says that in the bottom of the barrel and shit that XPW is all about wrestling. Kloss agrees. Rivera says that they put together the best of there wrestling matches and talks about there history? They've got a history? My ass. Kloss is being an ass and they go to the first match. With a lucha libre match. YAY.
Mosco De La Merced Vs. El Salcero
I'm a huge lucha libre fan. Think XPW can screw this up? You bet they can! The fans chant lucha libre, and army drag by Salcero and Salcero hits a back flip. ECW style army drags and wrestling pins and stuff. All ECW all over the match. Claps from the fans. Clothesline ducks a million times. Salcero his a spinning wheel kick for a 2 count. Salcero hits a nice faceplant on Merced and then hits a top rope ranna. Merced bails and Salcero messes up a tope. The ignorant XPW fans are loving it. Did I mention Salcero is wearing tight sky blue plants? Merced goes to the top only to get a top rope arm drag. Sloppy victory roll and reversal sequence. Salcero outside and Merced hits the "Low Rider Senton" to the outside. More like a damn tope, but that's what Rivera called it. Lots of taunting. The infamous Psicosis leg drop rope stop by Merced. Merced hits an Assi moonsault. Hurricanranna by Salcero. Air Sabu by Salcero after Merced rolled out. Salcero bust out with a gay dance. XPW chant starts. Both return to the ring. Salcero goes for a ranna and gets a 2 count. La Magisterial cradle by Salcero. Reverse powerbomb by Merced. They go out to the front and brawl. Assi Moonsault by Merced into the fans. Amazingly Rivera comments that Ultimo dragon made the move. Both return to the ring. Dropkick by Mosco misses. Salcero on the rope, Salcero shoves off Merced and hits a top rope spring board ranna for the win. Eh wasn't as bad as I mad it sound. Say *1/2?
-The idiots say that was a great match. And talk about Naked woman. Wait a damn minute.....looks like there in a cubical back in Rob Blacks porn industry building. Anyway, they hype the next technical wrestling match between Michael Modest and Donovan Morgan. This ends up being the best match on this entire tape.
2/3 Falls Match Up
Donovan Morgan Vs Michael Modest
I've enjoyed both guys when on Metal. Modest starts with a waist take down, Morgan counters, then Modest counters then slaps Morgan on the ass. They break. Collar and elbow tie up and an Arm wringer by Modest. Modes keeps working on the arm. Morgan goes up top and hits an arm drag. Irish whip reversal and Morgan hits a drop kick. Modest goes to the floor and gets planted. Kick to midsection by Modest and headlock whipped into the ropes and shoulder block then a leapfrog, ah hell its a bunch a wrestling thats going fast enough so I can't call it. Modest gets superkicked and gets pined only for a 2. Morgan starts beating his ass around and leap frogs. Modest hits a SWEET DRAGON SUPLEX! XPW chant starts. Modest iris whip again, leapfrog again and Modest levels him with the clothesline to the back of the neck. Only gets a 2 count. Form arm shots by Modest Irish whip ducks into an Exploder Suplex by Modest. Modest taunts bit. I love him, WWF hire him now. I mean it. Modest hits a slingshot variation. Modest hits some more forearm shots, Rivera comments on how this is like the NWA. I chuckle a bit. Modest hits a clothesline from hell like move. Snapmare by Modest and then elbow drop only gets a 2 count. Morgan looks dead. Chops by Morgan, its nice to see that even XPW fans Whooo. Nice Backdrop by Modest which only gets a 2 count. Modest looks pissed. Modest hits a cobra clutch. Morgan doesn't give up. Modest hits a Cobra clutch Suplex. Great so far. Only a 2 count somehow. If this was Tazz he'd be already dead. Morgan reverses an Irish whip with a neat DDT. Morgan hits a dropkick and another Irish whip and a back body drop. Modest hitsa fisherman buster and both men are down. Morgan hits a nice tornado DDT. Rivera talks about El Samurai doing that same move. Morgan went for a leap from but somehow Modest counters with a DVD and gets a 2 count. Morgan kicks Modest in the nuts. Morgan hits a scoop slam and a split leg moonsault for a 3 count. Small package by Modest only for a 2. Modest hits an Ace Crusher and pins for a 3 count. It's now tied. Top rope belly to belly to belly attempt by modest doesn't work and Modest gets shoved off and hits a neat head scissors take down from the top. He places Morgan on the top rope and hits a TOP ROPE FISHERMAN SUPLEX!!!!!! Michael Modest wins it. Great match, I can give that a whole. **3/4 with all honesty. After match the senior official says something about the match being a draw. Despite what the bastards say I disagree. Modest screams screw job and hits a Death Valley Driver on the Ref. Then Morgan hits a Michinoku Driver on Modest.
-The idiots say it was a classic match. Maybe for XPW, Rivera loves wrestling. I do to. They talk about ecstasy. Wow, that sucked ass. Now there showing us American style Vs lucha style. Kloss is a homo.
Kid Kaos Vs Juventude Guerrera
Lots of fast ass lucha stuff happening, Juvi hits a head scissors take down they fly out the ring. Juvi's got cow pants on. Hey, Juvi will job for ecstasy. This match is fast passed, good stuff so far. Kaos hits a Suplex for a 2 count and locks on a chin lock. Juvi gets up and hits a monkey flip, then a savat kick to Juvi's throat. OW. Both end up going outside and Juvi receives an Assi moonsault, Kloss screams like a little bitch. Both return to the ring and Juvi hits a high crossbody from the top. Kid Kaos hits an inside cradle for the win. Too short, I'll give it a * out of kindness. Could have been much better given 10 minutes or so.
-The idiots tell us about Steve Rizzono Vs Dynamite D. Vs Guerrera or something. I can't listen to Rivera without laughing my ass off.
Steve Rizzono w/ Louie "The Playboy" Anderson Vs Dynamite D. Vs Juventude Guerrera
Wow, the segment starts off with a horrible interview. Okay so Rizzono's real manager isn't Louie Anderson but Buddy Rose, but I'll be damned if he doesn't look like Anderson. "Shut the fuck up!" chant starts and this makes history as its the only time I've ever agreed with the XPW fans. Juvi comes out to save the day. I'm thinking about stopping the tape right now. Juvi talks some smack but not like you could understand what he's saying because XPW's sound system sucks. Now Dynamite D gets involved as Rick Rude tonight. Oh man kill me now and get this match started its been about 10 minutes too long. D actually is a good wrestler though, same with Juvi, Rizzono sucks. D does a good impersonation of Rick Rude complete with "Fat Sweat hogs" and gyration of the hips. Brawling.......... Dynamite bails. Rizzono get his ass handed by Juvi and then Juvi planchas both. Some more brawling because brawling is good. Juvi hits a leg drop from the top rope on Dynamite then a Suplex. Rizzono appears and tosses Juvi out. Ugh end this already. Dynamite was taunting on top and get to wrestling with Juvi. Juvi hits a spin wheel kick on D and then D hits a belly to back on Juvi. Rizzono isn't really involved in this match at all. D drops the big elbow on Juvi. Louie Anderson gets involved. Double Rude Awaking by D and Dynamite gets a 2 count. Back elbow on D by Rizzono and Louie tosses Rizzono a chair who sets it up in the corner. Chops, and Rizzono gets whipped into the chair. Rizzono goes over the top rope. Some stuff happens. Juvi and Dynamite do some more wrestling. Juvi hits a leg submission and Rizzono hits a head scissors while Juvi had the leg bar on. They all break up. Rizzono hits an atomic drop on D. Rizzono stands alone in the middle of the ring like the cheese. Mmmmm cheese. Nevermind. Dynamite comes back into the ring while Juvi waits outside as Rizzono does work. Juvi stomps the shit out of Rizzono Juvi attempts the people's elbow and Rizzono trips him. I've lost interest in this match Rizzono sucks. Bulldog by Dynamite D only gets a 2. END IT ALREADY! Dynamite D hits a Vandaminator like move on Rizzono. Dynamite D unfolds the chair and sits down. Juvi dropkicks Dynamite. Rizzono gets up and receives Raven's Drop toe hold into the steel chair by Juvi. Explain how a chairs been involved in the "We Wrestle" tape when the said no violent crap? Anyway, Rizzono tries powerbombing D onto the unfolded chair and gets countered. Rizzono hits a DDT and both men are down. Juvi pops up out of no where and gets a 2 count. Juvi hits a powerbomb and gets a 2 because Rizzono is a prick. Juvi goes for an inside cradle and only gets a 2. Man will this end already? Rizzono hits a slam and goes up top and well fucks up. Juvi then press slams him off. Juvi goes up top himself and hits a high crossbody body only getting a 2 count. Reversal on the pin a lot. This wasn't so bad. Juvi Driver on D, 2 count until Dynamite D reverses with a small package which is broken up by Rizzono who pins both. The ref claims that Dynamite D wins because he was the first man on top or something I guess that's a porn term? Match was horrible say 3/4* since the Juvi/D stuff will keep it out of the negative stars.
-Back to the idiots talking about Pogo The Clown based on the Child rapist himself. The real Pogo use to rape kids then make them choke on rocks and stuff. Sick sick character, sicker that someone uses him as a wrestling gimmick. He's undefeated in this tape.
Pogo The Clown Vs Carlito Montana
Pogo pounds the living hell out of Carlito Montana. Pogo screams because that makes him cool. I think he my have raped one to make kids either that or Rob Black smoked to much weed when allowing him to use this gimmick. Pogo starts pounding again. Carlito hits a top rope dropkick and Pogo rolls out, Carlito hits a diving shoulder block to the outside. They return to the ring, Carlito hits a move on pogo I wasn't paying attention. Pogo reverses the Irish whip and hits a clothesline. Pogo the Clown hits the Arn Anderson gordbuster or Reverse Suplex, The hits his Fireman's carry into an Assdrop or as he calls it "Buried in the Basement." Nosawa runs in and beats the hell out of everyone with a chair. I'm lost? Anyway match ends in a no contest. That sure was......horrible. DUD
-Kloss talks about something, saying Pogo is sick and twisted. Then they start talking about Nosawa, who's not even on this damn tape. They talk about Pogo the clown being a monster. I wonder how the real Pogo feels about this. They claim that he's a treat for the XPW title. Kloss runs down about Homeless Jimmy and Supreme and Tool and Messiah, Webb and the rest due to them being "hardcore" and he claims that they can do technical wrestling. My ass. They show us a video high lights of XPW hardcore crap. Wow, I knew they couldn't do a whole tape without hardcore. The idiots come back after the clips. Now they tell us its time for the XPW World Title match and how it opened up a new era and rebirth for XPW. Oh Man.........lets go to the ring
XPW World Title Match
Chris Candido (c) Vs "The Franchise" Shane Douglas
Former Triple Threat members collide. Shoving contest begins. Shane chops Candido and then hits a back elbow then some more chops. Douglas then backdrop Candido and then hits a snapmare. Then drops an elbow drop and only gets a 2 count. Shane locks on a chinlock Rivera talks about how we don't see that in wrestling anymore. Shane hits a powerslam on Candido. Then nails Candido with an Elbow and some Dusty Rhodes like punches, Candido fights back with some chops. Candido low blocks Shane Douglas. Candido went for a suplex, got reversed by Shane and ends up being reversed by Candido to a small package for a 2 count. Douglas hits Shattered Dreams on Candido. This isn't that bad. Candido hits a DDT on Shane Douglas. Shane moves out the way of the diving headbutt. Bunch of leap frog sequence and Shane fucks up. Josh Lassie or something comes to the ring and Sabu comes out and interferes. Taking out both Candido and Shane Douglas. Sabu hits a moonsault on both of them, he then double leg drops them and gets a 2 count. Somehow this makes him part of the match? Sabu gets a table. Sabu leg drops Candido threw the table which doesn't break but collapse which makes me laugh my ass off. Shane Douglas hits Sabu with the chain and Sabu kicks out of Candido's pin. The match magically because Sabu Vs Candido as Douglas just sits outside. Candido hits a DDT. Sabu grabs another table and Douglas nails him, Sabu throws Shane into the steel barricade. He hits Air Sabu on Douglas while Candido is set up on the table. Shane hits a piledriver on Candido and yells at Sabu to pin him? Sabu fucks up another spot and goes face first threw the table. Candido pins Sabu to retain the XPW World Title. Not like that belt means anything. *1/2 Sabu does what he does best and planchas everyone.
The show ends with Kloss saying under all the violent crap that "We Wrestle!". To the average braindead wrestling fan, stay away.
To anyone else who enjoys absolute crap like me, go ahead and buy this. However, I'm warning you. I'm not responsible for headaches or loss of braincells during or
after your watching of this pile of crap.