Your Lovely host are Kris Kloss and Larry Rivera.
Opening: Lets get one thing stated before hand. I'm not anti-XPW.
Larry welcomes us and says there won't be any "violent"
crap and says that in the bottom of the barrel and shit that XPW
is all about wrestling. Kloss agrees. Rivera says that they put
together the best of there wrestling matches and talks about
there history? They've got a history? My ass. Kloss is being an
ass and they go to the first match. With a lucha libre match.
YAY.
Mosco De La Merced Vs. El Salcero
I'm a huge lucha libre fan. Think XPW can screw this up? You bet
they can! The fans chant lucha libre, and army drag by Salcero
and Salcero hits a back flip. ECW style army drags and wrestling
pins and stuff. All ECW all over the match. Claps from the fans.
Clothesline ducks a million times. Salcero his a spinning wheel
kick for a 2 count. Salcero hits a nice faceplant on Merced and
then hits a top rope ranna. Merced bails and Salcero messes up a
tope. The ignorant XPW fans are loving it. Did I mention Salcero
is wearing tight sky blue plants? Merced goes to the top only to
get a top rope arm drag. Sloppy victory roll and reversal
sequence. Salcero outside and Merced hits the "Low Rider
Senton" to the outside. More like a damn tope, but that's
what Rivera called it. Lots of taunting. The infamous Psicosis
leg drop rope stop by Merced. Merced hits an Assi moonsault.
Hurricanranna by Salcero. Air Sabu by Salcero after Merced rolled
out. Salcero bust out with a gay dance. XPW chant starts. Both
return to the ring. Salcero goes for a ranna and gets a 2 count.
La Magisterial cradle by Salcero. Reverse powerbomb by Merced.
They go out to the front and brawl. Assi Moonsault by Merced into
the fans. Amazingly Rivera comments that Ultimo dragon made the
move. Both return to the ring. Dropkick by Mosco misses. Salcero
on the rope, Salcero shoves off Merced and hits a top rope spring
board ranna for the win. Eh wasn't as bad as I mad it sound. Say
*1/2?
-The idiots say that was a great match. And talk about Naked
woman. Wait a damn minute.....looks like there in a cubical back
in Rob Blacks porn industry building. Anyway, they hype the next
technical wrestling match between Michael Modest and Donovan
Morgan. This ends up being the best match on this entire tape.
2/3 Falls Match Up
Donovan Morgan Vs Michael Modest
I've enjoyed both guys when on Metal. Modest starts with a waist
take down, Morgan counters, then Modest counters then slaps
Morgan on the ass. They break. Collar and elbow tie up and an Arm
wringer by Modest. Modes keeps working on the arm. Morgan goes up
top and hits an arm drag. Irish whip reversal and Morgan hits a
drop kick. Modest goes to the floor and gets planted. Kick to
midsection by Modest and headlock whipped into the ropes and
shoulder block then a leapfrog, ah hell its a bunch a wrestling
thats going fast enough so I can't call it. Modest gets
superkicked and gets pined only for a 2. Morgan starts beating
his ass around and leap frogs. Modest hits a SWEET DRAGON SUPLEX!
XPW chant starts. Modest iris whip again, leapfrog again and
Modest levels him with the clothesline to the back of the neck.
Only gets a 2 count. Form arm shots by Modest Irish whip ducks
into an Exploder Suplex by Modest. Modest taunts bit. I love him,
WWF hire him now. I mean it. Modest hits a slingshot variation.
Modest hits some more forearm shots, Rivera comments on how this
is like the NWA. I chuckle a bit. Modest hits a clothesline from
hell like move. Snapmare by Modest and then elbow drop only gets
a 2 count. Morgan looks dead. Chops by Morgan, its nice to see
that even XPW fans Whooo. Nice Backdrop by Modest which only gets
a 2 count. Modest looks pissed. Modest hits a cobra clutch.
Morgan doesn't give up. Modest hits a Cobra clutch Suplex. Great
so far. Only a 2 count somehow. If this was Tazz he'd be already
dead. Morgan reverses an Irish whip with a neat DDT. Morgan hits
a dropkick and another Irish whip and a back body drop. Modest
hitsa fisherman buster and both men are down. Morgan hits a nice
tornado DDT. Rivera talks about El Samurai doing that same move.
Morgan went for a leap from but somehow Modest counters with a
DVD and gets a 2 count. Morgan kicks Modest in the nuts. Morgan
hits a scoop slam and a split leg moonsault for a 3 count. Small
package by Modest only for a 2. Modest hits an Ace Crusher and
pins for a 3 count. It's now tied. Top rope belly to belly to
belly attempt by modest doesn't work and Modest gets shoved off
and hits a neat head scissors take down from the top. He places
Morgan on the top rope and hits a TOP ROPE FISHERMAN SUPLEX!!!!!!
Michael Modest wins it. Great match, I can give that a whole.
**3/4 with all honesty. After match the senior official says
something about the match being a draw. Despite what the bastards
say I disagree. Modest screams screw job and hits a Death Valley
Driver on the Ref. Then Morgan hits a Michinoku Driver on Modest.
-The idiots say it was a classic match. Maybe for XPW, Rivera
loves wrestling. I do to. They talk about ecstasy. Wow, that
sucked ass. Now there showing us American style Vs lucha style.
Kloss is a homo.
Kid Kaos Vs Juventude Guerrera
Lots of fast ass lucha stuff happening, Juvi hits a head scissors
take down they fly out the ring. Juvi's got cow pants on. Hey,
Juvi will job for ecstasy. This match is fast passed, good stuff
so far. Kaos hits a Suplex for a 2 count and locks on a chin
lock. Juvi gets up and hits a monkey flip, then a savat kick to
Juvi's throat. OW. Both end up going outside and Juvi receives an
Assi moonsault, Kloss screams like a little bitch. Both return to
the ring and Juvi hits a high crossbody from the top. Kid Kaos
hits an inside cradle for the win. Too short, I'll give it a *
out of kindness. Could have been much better given 10 minutes or
so.
-The idiots tell us about Steve Rizzono Vs Dynamite D. Vs
Guerrera or something. I can't listen to Rivera without laughing
my ass off.
Steve Rizzono w/ Louie "The Playboy" Anderson Vs
Dynamite D. Vs Juventude Guerrera
Wow, the segment starts off with a horrible interview. Okay so
Rizzono's real manager isn't Louie Anderson but Buddy Rose, but
I'll be damned if he doesn't look like Anderson. "Shut the
fuck up!" chant starts and this makes history as its the
only time I've ever agreed with the XPW fans. Juvi comes out to
save the day. I'm thinking about stopping the tape right now.
Juvi talks some smack but not like you could understand what he's
saying because XPW's sound system sucks. Now Dynamite D gets
involved as Rick Rude tonight. Oh man kill me now and get this
match started its been about 10 minutes too long. D actually is a
good wrestler though, same with Juvi, Rizzono sucks. D does a
good impersonation of Rick Rude complete with "Fat Sweat
hogs" and gyration of the hips. Brawling.......... Dynamite
bails. Rizzono get his ass handed by Juvi and then Juvi planchas
both. Some more brawling because brawling is good. Juvi hits a
leg drop from the top rope on Dynamite then a Suplex. Rizzono
appears and tosses Juvi out. Ugh end this already. Dynamite was
taunting on top and get to wrestling with Juvi. Juvi hits a spin
wheel kick on D and then D hits a belly to back on Juvi. Rizzono
isn't really involved in this match at all. D drops the big elbow
on Juvi. Louie Anderson gets involved. Double Rude Awaking by D
and Dynamite gets a 2 count. Back elbow on D by Rizzono and Louie
tosses Rizzono a chair who sets it up in the corner. Chops, and
Rizzono gets whipped into the chair. Rizzono goes over the top
rope. Some stuff happens. Juvi and Dynamite do some more
wrestling. Juvi hits a leg submission and Rizzono hits a head
scissors while Juvi had the leg bar on. They all break up.
Rizzono hits an atomic drop on D. Rizzono stands alone in the
middle of the ring like the cheese. Mmmmm cheese. Nevermind.
Dynamite comes back into the ring while Juvi waits outside as
Rizzono does work. Juvi stomps the shit out of Rizzono Juvi
attempts the people's elbow and Rizzono trips him. I've lost
interest in this match Rizzono sucks. Bulldog by Dynamite D only
gets a 2. END IT ALREADY! Dynamite D hits a Vandaminator like
move on Rizzono. Dynamite D unfolds the chair and sits down. Juvi
dropkicks Dynamite. Rizzono gets up and receives Raven's Drop toe
hold into the steel chair by Juvi. Explain how a chairs been
involved in the "We Wrestle" tape when the said no
violent crap? Anyway, Rizzono tries powerbombing D onto the
unfolded chair and gets countered. Rizzono hits a DDT and both
men are down. Juvi pops up out of no where and gets a 2 count.
Juvi hits a powerbomb and gets a 2 because Rizzono is a prick.
Juvi goes for an inside cradle and only gets a 2. Man will this
end already? Rizzono hits a slam and goes up top and well fucks
up. Juvi then press slams him off. Juvi goes up top himself and
hits a high crossbody body only getting a 2 count. Reversal on
the pin a lot. This wasn't so bad. Juvi Driver on D, 2 count
until Dynamite D reverses with a small package which is broken up
by Rizzono who pins both. The ref claims that Dynamite D wins
because he was the first man on top or something I guess that's a
porn term? Match was horrible say 3/4* since the Juvi/D stuff
will keep it out of the negative stars.
-Back to the idiots talking about Pogo The Clown based on the
Child rapist himself. The real Pogo use to rape kids then make
them choke on rocks and stuff. Sick sick character, sicker that
someone uses him as a wrestling gimmick. He's undefeated in this
tape.
Pogo The Clown Vs Carlito Montana
Pogo pounds the living hell out of Carlito Montana. Pogo screams
because that makes him cool. I think he my have raped one to make
kids either that or Rob Black smoked to much weed when allowing
him to use this gimmick. Pogo starts pounding again. Carlito hits
a top rope dropkick and Pogo rolls out, Carlito hits a diving
shoulder block to the outside. They return to the ring, Carlito
hits a move on pogo I wasn't paying attention. Pogo reverses the
Irish whip and hits a clothesline. Pogo the Clown hits the Arn
Anderson gordbuster or Reverse Suplex, The hits his Fireman's
carry into an Assdrop or as he calls it "Buried in the
Basement." Nosawa runs in and beats the hell out of everyone
with a chair. I'm lost? Anyway match ends in a no contest. That
sure was......horrible. DUD
-Kloss talks about something, saying Pogo is sick and twisted.
Then they start talking about Nosawa, who's not even on this damn
tape. They talk about Pogo the clown being a monster. I wonder
how the real Pogo feels about this. They claim that he's a treat
for the XPW title. Kloss runs down about Homeless Jimmy and
Supreme and Tool and Messiah, Webb and the rest due to them being
"hardcore" and he claims that they can do technical
wrestling. My ass. They show us a video high lights of XPW
hardcore crap. Wow, I knew they couldn't do a whole tape without
hardcore. The idiots come back after the clips. Now they tell us
its time for the XPW World Title match and how it opened up a new
era and rebirth for XPW. Oh Man.........lets go to the ring
XPW World Title Match
Chris Candido (c) Vs "The Franchise" Shane Douglas
Former Triple Threat members collide. Shoving contest begins.
Shane chops Candido and then hits a back elbow then some more
chops. Douglas then backdrop Candido and then hits a snapmare.
Then drops an elbow drop and only gets a 2 count. Shane locks on
a chinlock Rivera talks about how we don't see that in wrestling
anymore. Shane hits a powerslam on Candido. Then nails Candido
with an Elbow and some Dusty Rhodes like punches, Candido fights
back with some chops. Candido low blocks Shane Douglas. Candido
went for a suplex, got reversed by Shane and ends up being
reversed by Candido to a small package for a 2 count. Douglas
hits Shattered Dreams on Candido. This isn't that bad. Candido
hits a DDT on Shane Douglas. Shane moves out the way of the
diving headbutt. Bunch of leap frog sequence and Shane fucks up.
Josh Lassie or something comes to the ring and Sabu comes out and
interferes. Taking out both Candido and Shane Douglas. Sabu hits
a moonsault on both of them, he then double leg drops them and
gets a 2 count. Somehow this makes him part of the match? Sabu
gets a table. Sabu leg drops Candido threw the table which
doesn't break but collapse which makes me laugh my ass off. Shane
Douglas hits Sabu with the chain and Sabu kicks out of Candido's
pin. The match magically because Sabu Vs Candido as Douglas just
sits outside. Candido hits a DDT. Sabu grabs another table and
Douglas nails him, Sabu throws Shane into the steel barricade. He
hits Air Sabu on Douglas while Candido is set up on the table.
Shane hits a piledriver on Candido and yells at Sabu to pin him?
Sabu fucks up another spot and goes face first threw the table.
Candido pins Sabu to retain the XPW World Title. Not like that
belt means anything. *1/2 Sabu does what he does best and
planchas everyone.
Final Note:
The show ends with Kloss saying under all the violent crap that
"We Wrestle!". To the average braindead wrestling fan,
stay away.
To anyone else who enjoys absolute crap like me, go ahead and buy
this. However, I'm warning you. I'm not responsible for headaches
or loss of braincells during or
after your watching of this pile of crap.